Armchair Missionary
by Sarita^^
At the age of 5 years, I heard my first missionary story about people who left their own homes and countries to travel around the world and tell people about Jesus, and who he really is. So many people in the world have not really known who Jesus is, or why it is important to know him, and I wanted to tell, and in my heart, I could really feel the excitement inside. The years have now passed, and times has changed since then. Today, is the time of the Internet, and I want to tell some of the stories about my time online as just an ArmChair Missionary, who did not even have to leave home and family. I will include some stories from my life in the early years. I feel a need to share God's blessings with all who would like to know. There is no greater story than the story of Jesus and his great love for mankind, and no one else has loved us so much. No one else offers us a sure hope of living again, when this life is over. No one else has risen from the dead, and is alive today. False prophets have come and gone and still lie as dust in the grave. Jesus is His name! Jesus has risen from the dead, and he has overcome death for us.
The Night that the Angel Came
When I was born, I was born, not where my family lived, but where my grandparents lived which was 500 miles away, and when I was ten days old, my parents took me back home. But after that trip, I was not doing well, and I seemed to cry all of the time, and my mother thought that I had the colic, and she did not have an easy time taking care of me. My parents lived in an upstairs apartment, and the old man down stairs did not like my crying, and he thought no one was taking care of me, so he hit the ceiling with the broom handle. He was angry.
So from the time, I was ten days old, until I was 3 months old, things just kept on getting worse, and my mother saw that she could not take care of me alone, for she needed help day and night. Finally, she told my father that she must take me and go home to her parents, for there was more help. At her home, my mother had a mother and a father, a sister and a cousin, named Sylvia. They all told my mother that they would help to care for me if she would come to be with them at this mountain cabin where they lived. So this is where my mother took me, and she and Sylvia would sit up all night long and look after me, while the others slept. Then when morning would come, my mother and Sylvia would sleep. I had been taken to two doctors who could really find noting wrong with me, but as time went by, I was having serious convulsions and my eyes even crossed.
Sylvia used her time during the night to sew, while she helped to take care of me. Sylvia was near to the age of my mother, they were cousins and close friends. We had been at my grandparents house a couple of weeks, when I got so much worse and one night my mother believed that I would die. My mother had spent all of her time, just trying to rock me to sleep. In the early morning hours, finally I went to sleep, and my mother laid me on a bed near to the back of the room, and my mother and Sylvia were each sitting in a chair near to the fireplace, and as usual, Sylvia was sewing.
At this time, something seemed to crash into the East side of the house, near to the fireplace. Nothing was seen, but it was heard, and it seemed to come inside of the house, for the wind of it was felt, and it seemed to buzz like a big bee. It had wind and power, and it split right between my mother and Sylvia and it nearly knocked them over, and they had to move out of it's way. They had not the slightest idea of what was going on. No one in my family then was a Christian. Then that wind and that noise went to the back of the room to my bed. No, they never saw a thing, they only heard the noise of the big bee and they could feel the wind or power as it moved about. My mother's first thoughts were that this is a sign that I would die.
This thing, buzzed around over top of me, and it's wind was felt, then after a short time, this thing, turned right around, and went back out, just exactly as it came in. It split right between two chairs , nearly knocking them over, then it hit the East wall with a big crashing noise, and then it left , just as it had come in. Mother and Sylvia went to wake up my grandparents and told them the story. Both of my Grandparents got out of bed and sat in chairs and waited to see if it would come again, but it did not come back. They even waited up the next night and still it did not come back.
No one there had any idea what had happened. No one knew what had happened to me either, for I slept the whole night long without waking up even once. I was quiet, and there was no crying. What my mother did not recognize that night, was that I was healed. I was no longer sick, and this is just how it happened. I was well. My mother waited another ten days, before she took me back home again.
No one can really explain what happened to me, and I certainly can not tell you what came to the house that night, for nothing was seen at al, only felt and heard. I did have crossed eyes, and I know that by the time I started to school, that I had just one eye barely crossed, so I had been told many times about what had happened to me, and my mother often told me that this was The Night that the Angel Came. My mother said that she believed that an angel came, because it had intelligence, and it knew how to get the attention of my mother and Sylvia. It went right to the back of the room where I alone was sleeping, and I was healed unmistakebly. And I never had one single illness again, until I was 17 years old. I do have a video of my mother telling this story. Mother was not a Christian then, and no one else in my family was a Christian either, but God did get my mother's attention that night, and the attention of other family members. It was 5 years later that my mother came to know who Jesus is. I feel that I would like to sing, "Everybody ought to know who Jesus is".
I can look back at this time, and I know for sure that I had never done anything for Jesus, nor had my parents, nor my grandparents. Jesus does really love us with a love that we can not explain. Jesus is someone who has loved us, before we could ever know him. There is really something about a love, when you know that you did not deserve it. After this happening, my mother knew for sure that there was someone greater than she was. Someone has a mighty power, able to save. When I get to heaven, I want to ask Jesus about this. When I say that God is love, I really do mean it. I do feel that I do live by God's grace and his love, undeserving as I am.
The Invitation and the Dream
Several years passed after my illness as an infant. My health was good, and there were no more such illnesses. Our family seemed happy, but we did not know Jesus as we should. Then one day a friend invited my parents to their church. It was what some would call a "Full Gospel Church", but today, I would not call it that, for they do not teach the full Gospel, but even so, this church was good for me. I got to learn about Jesus, and I was thrilled to know about him. I was only five years old , and did have the mind of a little child.
My father played the piano, guitar, violin, and the trumpet, and he taught me to sing as he played piano or guitar, and this really made me happy, and I loved singing with my Dad, and we sang mostly hymns and ballads at home. I really did love all of the music at church, and my favorite song was the Old Rugged Cross. I did not know how to read when I first started to church, but I would pick up a hymnal and find my song on page 222. Yes, The" Old Rugged Cross" was on page 222, and I wanted it sung at every service. I would put my finger into page 222 and just wait for my song to be sung, sometimes that did not happen, and I would be so sad. In my childish mind, I could see every word of "The Old Rugged Cross" come to life. That song to me was a living song, and it all really happened like that. "The Old Rugged Cross" is a song that I still love. In my mind, I can see Jesus hanging there to pay for our sins, though he never sinned.
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/o/r/oruggedc.htm
To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,
Where His glory forever I’ll share.
This song is just a part of my life, so dear to me. I hope you will play it, especially if you have never heard it.
My mother was a new Christian, at the time that I was learning to read, and she knew that she did not know all of the Bible, but she did teach me one great thing, and she taught me to check out all things with the Bible, and if it does not agree with the scripture, just do not accept it. We all should know this. When you hear a new teaching , check it out with the Bible, for that is your responsibility and not someone else. This has been the greatest thing ever taught to me, and this is something that I really need to share.
When my parents became Christians, our lives changed in just one day. Yes, that is all that it took, just one day. The alcohol was thrown away, the card parties and all of the smoke was gone, and my mother even took away our checker boards, and I asked her why? My mother said she was taking away anything that made us kids fight :) Yes, we had a new way of living, and Jesus was the center of our home, and we were really happy. I wanted to mention "the invitation" here, because one neighbor invited us to church and helped to change our lives for the good. Do you know someone that you might invite to church, does that someone have a child like me, who needed so much just to know Jesus? Take a chance and invite your aquaintance. I do not know the woman who invited my parents to church, but I would thank her if I could. She really helped to set my life on a good course.
Then when I was a bout 6 years old, my mother had a dream one night. Mother dreamed that Jesus had come and her parents were not ready to go home with him, and that they were not saved. My grandparents were good people, but they had not given their lives to Jesus. I can remember when my grandmother used bad words and my grandfather used tobacco. So when my mother got up that morning after she had this dream, she told my father that she must go and see her parents and tell them of Jesus and of their need to repent and turn to Him before it is too late. My mother told my father that she needed a vehicle, and she was very insistant. But dad told my mother that the car was not working, and that he had to have his pickup to go to work. She kept insisting that she just had to go an see her parents, for her parents were going to be lost forever.
My father finally told my mother that all that he had that she could drive was an old two ton truck with sideboards on it. So then my mother said that she would take that, for she was going. So mother took us children and we left home in that big old red truck, and we called it the "Blunder Bus". Finally we got to my grandparents home. The next day, my mother was at the post office to see if she had any mail from my father. While she was at the post office, she met a man that she had never seen before. This man was from up North and he said that God had sent him there, and he was supposed to preach, but did not know to whom. He said that he had no church, no sponsors, and no place to live. He said that God just told him to go there.
My mother knew very well why she had come to see her parents, she had come because she knew that they did not know Jesus, and she was there to plead with them to repent, and here the very next day she has found a preacher with no church, no place to go. Jesus just looks for one willing. Jesus does ask us to seek the lost, no matter who they are. So who is willing to go? Who shall Jesus send? Can Jesus send you? Are you willing to go? My mother told this man about her parents and her relatives, and she told them that none of them were Christians, and that all of them needed to know Jesus. Mother told this man, that her relatives owned the old school house and that he could preach there and hold a revival. Then mother asked this man to come and see her parents and he went back with her to their place, and met them. My grandparents were always gracious friendly people, and they invited this man to stay with them while he preached. My mother used that two ton truck to give people there in the mountains a ride to church. That big truck came in very handy.
My grandparents were both converted at this revival, and both really came to know Jesus. My grandfather stopped his tobacco that very same day ,and my grandmother ceased saying her bad words. Now there was prayer at mealtime and at bedtime there was bible reading and prayer. There was a plaque on the wall that said, "Jesus is the head of this house, a guest at every meal, and a silent listener to every conversation." I like these words. Their home was a place where Jesus would love to dwell. I really want to thank Jesus for my Christian grandparents, and for the life that they showed to all.
My grandparents accepted the bible as their guide, and did not belong to a denomination. He often said that he was afraid of false preachers and teachers, but in later years he said he saw the churches need for structure and discipline. Before my grandfather's death, I read to him from "Desire of the Ages" and he told me that he knew, that whoever wrote that book, knew Jesus. That was his comment.
The Richest Little Girl in the World
When I was a little girl, I really did believe that I was the richest little girl in all of the world. I always had that feeling when I was at my grandparents home in the mountains. Just being near to my grandfather made me feel so rich, and I still remember that feeling. Since I have grown up, I have never had that feeling again. There has been nothing like it.
I can remember the first time that I had this grand feeling, when I was standing in my grandfather's big field of daisies, and the flowers were so thick. Who on this earth could have more flowers than me? Surely, there was no one on earth with more flowers than I had. I had more flowers than I could ever hope to count. Yes, I was sure that I was so rich. When I was with my grandfather, I would feel so tall and so important, and there just was no greater feeling.
I was well known for saying, "Grandpa, we have more cows than anybody"; "Grandpa, we have more corn than anybody"; "We have more chickens than anybody". Yes, it was always "We". And "we" was always meant Grandpa and me, no one else.
I have a sister two years older than myself, and I think that she got tired of my bragging, and one day she said to me "Do you know who is the Queen of England? She is rich and you are not! The Queen has palaces, she has carriages, and she has jewels and gold." My sister told me that I had none of that and that I am not rich. My sister told me just to look at my feet that summer day, and I had no shoes on. So I must be poor, she said, and I remember that feeling, that terrible let down. My spirit really sank after listening to her words. My great wealth had vanished in an instant.
The years passed, and I was called to the hospital to see my grandfather, for he was near to death. The door to his room was open, and I heard him say as I came down the hallway "There she is, Grandpa, we have more cows than anybody!" Yes, I felt rich once again, just knowing that I had a grandfather like that. I remembered the joy that I had felt in my earlier years, and felt so good just to be near to him, just to be a part of his life, just to share life with such a man. He came to know Jesus when I was near to 6 years old, and I did remember that revival then in the old school house, when my grandparents were converted. The best testimony that any person can ever have is a well lived life, to be a living testimony. I am so thankful to have seen my grandfathers testimony. It was precious. Even now it brings joy to my heart.
Some of you may not have had a person such as my grandfather in your life, but you too have a father who cares for you so much. You too can sing this song. Maybe there was not love in your home as there should have been, but still you can be the Child of the King. Jesus will come to take us home one day, to the mansions in the sky to be with Him forever, a place where there will be no more tears or sorrow.
A CHILD OF THE KING
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/h/childkin.htm
My Father is rich in houses and lands,
He holdeth the wealth of the world in His hands!
Of rubies and diamonds, of silver and gold,
His coffers are full, He has riches untold.
I’m a child of the King,
A child of the King:
With Jesus my Savior,
I’m a child of the King.
My Father’s own Son, the Savior of men,
Once wandered on earth as the poorest of them;
But now He is pleading our pardon on high,
That we may be His when He comes by and by.
Refrain
I once was an outcast stranger on earth,
A sinner by choice, an alien by birth,
But I’ve been adopted, my name’s written down,
An heir to a mansion, a robe and a crown
Refrain
A tent or a cottage, why should I care?
They’re building a palace for me over there;
Though exiled from home, yet still may I sing:
All glory to God, I’m a child of the King.
Undertaker
When I was about five years old, my family moved into a new house in the city, and my father still owned a 200 acre farm, where we often went in the summer time, and that farm was about 500 miles from our city home, near to where my mother's parents lived. But the farm was not in the mountains, as was my grandparents home. In this house that we moved into, someone had lived there before, and left behind a set of big heavy black books, and I could not read, so I didn't have any idea what was said in those big books, but they caught my imagination. These big black books contained not one single picture, and I did like pictures. So I asked my sister, who was two years older than I was, and she could read. My sister told when I asked about these books that everything that man had ever learned, he had written in a book, and she told me that if I can only learn to read that I could learn the secrets of the Universe. I was really impressed, for this is what I really wanted to know, and it was a burning desire since then.
As I looked at these big black books, I could see that one half of all pages looked the same, and the other half was different. I did not know it at the time, but my sister told me that one half of each page was written in Latin, and the other half in English, and that really these were Catholic books on Canon Law. I was often seen carrying these books around, for no one else wanted them. These books had a way of telling me about all of the things in the world that I did not know. I could see that there was just so much to learn. My desire for knowledge had been awakened. As soon as I began to read, at the age of 6, it seemed that what I really wanted to know was contained in the Bible, and I paid close attention to it. I was thrilled with the story of Jesus, and I had a desire to walk with him, and to be near to him. I felt close to Jesus. I was his, and he was mine.
Then one morning in early September, when I was eight years old, my parents got a phone call. It was my grandfather making the phone call. He said that my Aunt, my father's only sister was at the farm, and she was very ill, and he said that she had asthma and heart trouble, and she was near to death and might die, and he asked us all to please come. My grandfather was the father of my mother, and he was not really related to my aunt, but he had invited her to his home, in her time of crisis. My aunt was 33 years old, and she had 4 children and was married. It seemed that the climate where she lived was making her worse, so this is why my grandfather wanted her to come to his home on the farm, where he was living then. My aunt brought 3 of her children with her, a twelve year old daughter, a five year old son, and a son not yet two years old. Her husband stayed in another state to work to pay all of her expenses.
My father said that his work, would not allow him to make the trip right then, but he would come later, when he could. So my mother and the children in my family took a train ride to where my grandparents lived. At no time in all of my life had anyone told me that someone in my family was going to die before. This was my favorite aunt, she was the one who helped my father to name me when I was born. My aunt was the one who liked to buy most of my clothes, and she liked to dress me up and show people how pretty I was. I had always really enjoyed being in her presence. I can remember being a child that did not like to sit still, and I can remember how she used to paint my fingernails and tell me to sit still and not to mess up the nail polish. Yes, I could sit still for her, when I could sit still for no one else.
So when I got to the farm, where my grandparents lived, I spent much time, just talking to my aunt, out on the front porch. I was always asking my Aunt Lula to tell me about when she and my father were small children. She told me that her mother died of childbirth, when she was only four years old, and she told me that she could actually remember her father holding her up to her mother's casket so she could kiss her mother "goodbye". That left a very big impression on me. What a sight it must have been, and I could almost see it. Then she went on to say that her father died when she was nine years old, and she and my father were orphaned then.
My Aunt went on to talk about the "Walnut Grove Cemetery" over on the hill. It was about a mile from where we were, and she said that she would like to see it when she started to feel better, for she had not seen it in recent years. Then she talked some about death, and I do believe that she knew she was going to die. She told me about a dream that she had, where 3 horsemen rode up to that big front porch one day, and one of them said to her, "Sickness, poverty, and death". She described them like the 3 horsemen from Revelations, and I had heard all of that read to me before. I was by the side of my aunt most of the time while I was there, and I would help her get up from her chair when she wanted to get up. My aunt would say, "Who would ever dream that a little girl like you would grow up and have to help me?"
This farm house had a large front porch that went all of the way across the front of it, and at night while we were there, there was bible study and prayer every evening. My grandmother did the bible reading, my grandfather did the commenting or speaking, and we all prayed. This is just what happened the night before my aunt died. It was still a warm September day and there was a wonderful gentle breeze in the evening there. It was the last night that my aunt would ever be alive.
My aunt could never come inside of the house, for she could not breathe there, and she needed the fresh air, and she slept on a couch on the front porch. And on that night of September 23rd, she slipped down and died in the night. When my grandmother went to see about her, she was dead, and my grandmother covered her over with a sheet, and my grandfather called the Undertaker.
I think that this was the saddest day in all of my life. I had prayed so much for my aunt to be healed. I believed, and now my aunt was dead. Nothing in the world could have been worse for me than to see a big black hearse back right up to our porch to take my aunt away, but his is what happened. I was in real shock. I watched as they covered my aunt with blue velvet, and I saw when one of her arms dropped down to her side, from under the blue velvet. My aunt's little son, less than two years old was riding a stick horse in the front yard. Where was God? What did I do wrong? What was wrong with all of my prayers? Does God not know that little children need parents? Every child needs parents, I reasoned. I felt so lost, so undone.
I did not know it then, but this is the major turning point in my life. I had to have answer. I just had to have answers or I would die!
Isaiah 55:6-9 "Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Little Birdie and the Snake
My father was not with us when my aunt died, and he was not there for the funeral either, but he did arrive at the farm a day later. As soon as my father got to the farm, my mother asked him to remove the couch from the porch where my aunt died. My mother asked my father to take that couch away and to burn it, but my grandmother said that there was no need to get rid of the couch for it was nearly new. My mother wanted the couch burned anyhow, so my father took it away in his pick up truck to the other side of the orchard and burned it, and I did not go with him there.
A few days later, I went alone to the other side of the orchard to take a look to see what was left of the burned couch. I saw some charred wood, some springs, and I saw two long metal rods the length of that couch that had been used for support. These long metal rods were a foot or two above the ground.
On one of the long metal rods, I saw a little bird chirping, and he had his little wings some what lifted up. He seemed to be frightened, running up and down that metal rod. What was wrong with little birdie? Why was this little birdie so alarmed. I saw nothing at first, but then I saw a huge black snake down at the other end of the rod with his head held high above the rod, and he was looking at little birdie. It was scarily to see.
Little birdie kept on running up and down the metal bar, wings slightly raised and chiriping in fear. Then I saw little bird look right at the eyes of the big black snake, and their eyes locked, and the little bird was mesmerized, and it seemed that it could not unlock itself from the eyes of the snake. Then the snake seemed to pull this little birdie toward him, and even his neck would stretch forward. The snake would sway back and forth, and little birdie swayed too. It was terrible that the snake could control the little bird like that. The snake pulled little birdie nearer and nearer, and then he opened his mouth and little birdie willingly walked right in. Yes, little birdie feared that snake greatly at first, but the more that little birdie gazed into the eyes of the snake the less that he had any fear.
It seems that I screamed with all of the life that I had within me, but little birdie was gone. I needed no one to tell me what had happened for I knew in my heart that little birdie had just looked into the eyes of the snake too long. He looked so long , that he no longer had any power to resist.
Should we look Satan in the eyes? Should we keep looking the sin in our life until it grabs and consume us?
George Beverly Shea sings a song called " I Had Rather to Have Jesus than Anything", and every time that I hear this song sung I think of Little birdie and the day it died and was eaten by the snake.
I'd Rather Have Jesus
http://www.tagnet.org/digitalhymnal/en/dh327.html
I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I'd rather be His than have riches untold:
I'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands.
I'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hand
Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin's dread sway.
I'd rather have Jesus tan anything
This world affords today.
I feel that I saw the effects of sin's dread sway that day. I saw how people fall into evil, and do not even realize what is happening to them. They are caught just because they chose to look at evil for too long. We must all keep our eyes upon Jesus, lest we become like little birdie.
I was 8 years old when this happened.
After the funeral
After the funeral, the people were asked to file past my aunt's casket to view her for the last time. I sat on the front row, left, with my older sister and my cousin. When the time to stand came, I could not stand, and I just sat there. My sister did not file past the casket, and neither did my cousin. No one could read my mind, but I wondered why God did not spare her life, and "Where is my aunt?"; "Does not God ever learn from his mistakes?" My mother had told me that when I found that I had made a mistake to not ever do that again. "Does God never learn that little children need mothers?" Some people said that my aunt was in heaven, and if so, how did she get there?
The days went by, and every day, I was wanting to return to the cemetery where my aunt was buried. How can we just forget her, I wondered? My parents would not take me back to the cemetery, and I was very angry with them, and I started sneaking back to the cemetery alone, and the cemetery was more than a mile from my home. When I would get to the cemetery, I would look for people standing at gravesides, and I would start asking questions. I would ask, "Who do you have buried here? Why did they die? What do you think will happen now?" I always asked the same questions, and often I would ask people to come and see where my aunt is buried.
My mother began to worry about me, and she did not like me sneaking off to the cemetery, so one day she told me that if I did not quit going, that some day an old man would find me there and get me. She said I was too far from home to get any help, so I decided to change my way. I would still sneak off to the cemetery, but I would be much more careful. I would sneak into the cemetery from the back way, and I would hide under the bushes, and I would check out everything first before entering. I would know who was there first. So now this is what I would do, and sometimes I would get my sister and one of my cousins to go with me there. Yes, I told them to hide under the bushes with me first, and we would see who was there, and if we should hear a car coming up the hill, we would go and hide again there.
One day, my cousin, my sister, and I were hiding in the bushes, and a hearse came and a funeral car with people in it drove on in to the cemetery and stopped there. They took out a coffin and buried it, and then the funeral car left with a few people in it. Then the remaining men, dressed like theater ushers, with a stripe down one leg, did what appeared to be exercises. It was a secret Masonic funeral ritual that we saw that day.
One day, while hiding in the bushes, we saw a man and his wife come into the cemetery and stop by a grave. When we determined that it was safe, we came out and went over to meet the people. And as usual, I asked who that they had buried there, and why did he die? They told me that their son, age 17 died in an accident, and was buried there. This man went on to talk, and he told me that everyone in that particular cemetery was buried facing the East, and he said that one day Jesus will come from the Eastern sky. No one had ever told me about that before, and I wondered.
I was in that cemetery seeking answers to my questions regarding death, and I was like many who go to other people to find answers, when really they could all be found in the Word of God. The Word of God was what I needed more than anything to ease the questions in my heart, but no one was there to tell me this, so I was out actively searching, from someone who might know.
"Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it." Ecclesiastes 12:7 The body turns to dust again, and the spirit goes back to God, who gave it. The spirit of every person who dies--whether righteous or wicked--returns to God at death. What is a spirit that goes back to God? "The body without the spirit [breath] is dead." James 2:26. "The spirit of God ["the breath which God gave him"] is in my nostrils." Job 27:3 The spirit that returns to God at death is the breath of life. Nowhere in all of God's book does the "spirit" have any life, wisdom, or feeling after a person dies. It is the "breath of life" and nothing more.
Do souls die? "The soul that sinneth, it shall die." Ezekiel 18:20. "Every living soul died in the sea." Revelation 16:3. According to God's Word, souls do die! We are souls, and souls die. Man is mortal (Job 4:17). Only God is immortal (1 Timothy 6:15, 16). The concept of an undying, immortal soul goes against the Bible, which teaches that souls are subject to death. Satan lied when he told Eve that she should not surely die. It took a while, but she did eventually die. Some churches and some people do not like Ezekiel 18:20, because it is contrary to their erroneous thinking.
Do good people go to heaven when they die? "All that are in the graves shall hear his voice, and shall come forth." John 5:28, 29. "David ... is both dead and buried, and his sepulchre is with us unto this day." "For David is not ascended into the heavens." Acts 2:29, 34. "If I wait, the grave is mine house." Job 17:13. The Bible tells that even David has not ascended into the heavens. No, people do not go either to heaven or hell at death. They go to their graves to await the resurrection day.
How much do the dead know after death? "The living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun." "There is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." Ecclesiastes 9:5, 6, 10. "The dead praise not the Lord." Psalms 115:17 Why could not have someone told me the truth then? Why did people not tell the truth, and only confuse me?
But can't the dead communicate with the living, and aren't they aware of what the living are doing? "So man lieth down, and riseth not: till the heavens be no more, they shall not awake, nor be raised out of their sleep." "His sons come to honour, and he knoweth it not; and they are brought low, but he perceiveth it not of them." Job 14:12, 21. "Neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:6. I once went to the cemetery, and there was an old woman there, and she seemed really angry, and she was yelling at man buried there underground. Our churches do not always tell people the truth about death.
Now day after day on television, we see psychics talking to people, telling them all that their dead relatives are alive and still coming around and watching. Some even try talking to the dead. It is no wonder for churches have not told the truth to people, so they are being continually lied to. People have been told that the dead are not really dead. No, the dead cannot contact the dead, for the Bible says that even their thoughts have perished. Psalms 156:4 The dead will sleep until the great day of the Lord at the end of the world. In death, humans are totally unconscious with no activity or knowledge of any kind. In death, a person knows no time or space. Jesus called death, "sleep".
"Behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be." Revelation 22:12. "The Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, ... and the dead in Christ shall rise ... and so shall we ever be with the Lord." 1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17. "We shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, ... and the dead shall be raised incorruptible. ... For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality." 1 Corinthians 15:51-53.
This is the day that I long for , and I do believe it will be the greatest day ever known to man. It is a day when the dead shall be raised incorruptible. Yes, I was reading the bible when I was 8 years old, but I did not understand everything, of course, but I did know what corruption meant. There was a hen that died at our house, and my mother had asked me to take it away, and it was in the state of corruption, turning yellow, and I dragged it away with a rope to a place near to the river. In heaven, there will be no corruptible bodies, for they will be given new bodies when Jesus comes. Then the corruptible will put on incorruption, and we will be like Jesus to live ever more. They will be rewarded. They will be raised, given immortal bodies, and caught up to meet the Lord in the air. There would be no purpose in a resurrection if people were taken to heaven at death.
It is one of the cornerstones of the devil's kingdom. He has worked powerful miracles down through the ages through people who claim to receive their power from the spirits of the dead. (Examples: Magicians of Egypt--Exodus 7:11; Woman of Endor--1 Samuel 28:3-25; Sorcerers--Daniel 2:2; A certain damsel--Acts 16:16-18.)
When I was 8 years old, there was no one around who told me the truth, and I was left to wonder, and I prayed almost every day. I wanted God to tell me if my Aunt Lula went to heaven, and I was wanting God to write to me in the clouds and tell me, "would she be in heaven or not?". I just could not understand, and I just could not forget. I did not know then, that God had a long letter written to all of us telling us just what we needed to know. I did not know that the answers to my questions had already been written in the Bible. No one told me.
I would like to tell anyone who reads this, "If there is a death in your family, please talk to your children, and let them verbalize and speak of their feelings so that you can share with them". I was just a quiet little girl, very silent about my deepest pain, and I talked to no one. The adults in the family were all caught up in their own grief, and dinners together, and adult sharing. Do not forget the children and that they do grieve too.
Back Home to the City, Back to School
After the burial of my aunt, and all things were settled, my father took our family back to our home in the city. When we got back home, I found that my father had started to build a new house, and this was an exciting for me. It was his surprise for us all, and he already had the roof on the house, and the sides up, and the windows were all in, and this was very a very happy time for me. I started back to school, but I got started late, because of the death in the family, but I soon was caught up in my studies, and I was doing very well. It proved to be a very good thing to take me away from the farm and from the cemetery, so I could think of new things. That kind of sorrow and grief just can not go on forever. I think that one needs to put a stop to this sort of grief if he can in some way. Sometimes a change in scenery helps.
We were also back to the church where I had gone for the three years before, and I was paying closer attention to the sermons now. I still needed more answers. I remember when we first started to that church that I was told that the devil was down in the center of the earth in a place called "hell", and that he was punishing people for their wicked deeds. As a child, I believed what adults told me, for I never dreamed that adults in church might not be telling the truth. The bible describes Satan as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour - 1Peter 5:8. At one time when I was 5 or 6, I believed so strongly in what I had been told that I got a shovel and a wheel barrow, and I wanted to "dig to the devil" to see what was really going on, and people laughed at me. No wonder! I have learned over time that people will tell you absolutely anything, even good people do that in ignorance.
I did not know as a child that the bible says this: "The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished." 2Peter 2:9. No one at church ever told me this, but these are very important words for me. No one is in hell until after the Judgement.
"So shall it be in the end of this world. The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire." Matthew 13:40-42. "The word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day." John 12:48.
When I was a small child, it seems that almost always it was my father that put me to bed at night, and every night, I would ask him to tell me a story. He would ask me what kind of a story that I wanted to hear, and I would say "Daddy, tell me about when you were a little boy". Yes, my father had told me how his mother had died in childbirth, when he was only two years old, and he told me that there was no one left to tell him about God, or what happened to dead people, but he said that he did think much about this when he was small, and my father said that no one took him to church, not ever.
My father told me about a song that he had learned as a little boy, and I have never heard this song from anyone, anywhere before, and the words of the song were like this: "At night when I kneel by my bedside, I pray, and I lift my sorrowful eye, I ask my dear Mother in heaven above, to smile at her child from the sky. I am friendless, penniless, poor, nothing but sorrow I see, and I am no body's darling, and no body cares for me." My father told me that he had prayed to his mother for help in the hours of his darkest need. My father and his sister, my aunt, who died, were left complete orphans when their father died, when my father was only 7 years old. My father thought his mother had gone to heaven, and he was praying to her for help. I would say for sure, that heaven would be like hell if a mother could look down from above, and see what was happening to her helpless children. When a person does not know the Word of God, he may even cling to the words of a song that has true words or not. The Bible tells us, that the dead know not anything, and we can trust the Bible.
Those days that passed after we came back from my aunts burial, were filled with song. I sang with my father, while he played the guitar or piano. I sang in church, and I sang with my sisters as we washed the dishes. Nothing has uplifted me like song. Most of all, I hated washing the dishes, and I washed the dishes with my two sisters. One of us washed, the other dried the dishes and put them all away, and the other one washed pots and pans. I hated washing dishes so much, because I thought it was job that would never end. I would cry, and sometimes, my dad would come in to the kitchen and help me to wash them. Many times my father would come into the kitchen and see me, and he would say, "Your mother has too many dishes, we should go to the back door and throw half of them away". Those seemed to me like the wisest words ever spoken. At our house, every Friday we baked cakes, pies, cookies, and bread, anything of our own choosing, and I had two other sisters that baked with me when I baked.
Spiritualism
When we got started back to church, at the Assembly of God Church, in our city, we found a new couple attending, and we called them Mr. and Mrs. Broyles. They were a good looking couple probably in their fifties, and I do know that they had one grown son, and he was in the Navy. My father had already met these people while we were visiting with my aunt, and my Dad was anxious for us to meet them. My father was very proud of his family, and I was usually on my best behavior. One Sunday, soon after we were home again, my father invited this couple for dinner one Sunday, and that Sunday many pictures were taken. I was still 8 years old and I determined that I was going to be in every picture, no matter from which angle those pictures were taken. Yes, I can look at those pictures now, and I can find myself in the background of every one of them, even if it was supposed to be a picture of Mr. and Mrs. Broyles. There was just a little bit of mischief in me, just a little.
Mr. and Mrs. Broyles lived in a very big house right behind the hospital. All of the rooms were big and it seemed a bit spooky to me. My parents taught the children in my family to all be quiet and not interfere in anyway during a visit of just adults. My mother said that some people just do not understand children, but even so, I did learn how to be quiet and to not seek attention from anyone. It seem that most of our visits to the Broyles home was at night, and most of their visits to our home were for Sunday dinner. It was at the night visits that my father and Mr. Broyles discussed the full book of Revelations. I had heard that entire book read when I was 8 years old, and I can remember soon of my thoughts. It did seem a bit frightening, but I did sense that some how God can see us through the troubled times that are to come. We just need to stay true to Jesus.
Mr. Broyles seemed very very interested in Bible prophecy, and he talked a lot about the book of Revelations, and Mrs. Broyles never seemed to speak of the Bible, and she was more on the quiet side. Both were good looking and well dressed people, both seemed well educated to me. Then Mr. Broyles began to say that his wife was not wanting to go to church at all. Mrs. Broyles spoke up and said that if me and my two sisters did not want to go to church at night, we can come to her house to stay, and she was inviting us there. I do know that one evening, my two sisters and I did go to her house. She tried to be very nice to us, and she took us to her upstairs where she had an old Victrola and some old records, and she played the song, "Buffalo Gals" for us. I had never heard that old song before. That Victrola and the records were antique.
Then I heard Mr. Broyles talking to my father, and he said that Mrs. Broyles had made friends with a spiritualist lady down the street, and that he felt that this ungodly woman was having a bad effect upon his wife. This other woman down the street was doing something strange. She was inviting people to her home. Then she would tell them that she can contort into the image of their deceased loved one for money. Mr. Broyles said that this woman could actually do this. It is really beyond my imaginations. More time passed and Mr. Broyles was saying that his wife can no longer pray, and that is wife can no longer even say the name of Jesus. Then the next thing that I know, Mr. Broyles is saying that his wife is sticking her feet in the toilet bowl, because she thinks that her feet are on fire. Mrs. Broyles had to be put into a State institution where she died. Mr. Broyles said that before she died, she could say the name of Jesus again.
I had heard about spiritualism before but no one had called it by that name, they called it "speaking to the dead". That happened before I ever started to school or to church, and I had only heard the people in my family talk about it.
My father had a friend named "Arthur" that he had since he was 11 years old. My father and his sister, my Aunt Lula, were orphaned when my father was 7 and his sister was 9 years old. They were adopted by a lawyer and his wife, when my father was 11 years old, and my father had known Arthur since then. Then later on Arthur moved to the city where we lived. Arthur was married to a woman named Blanche and they had one daughter older than me, and they were good friends of my parents. So before I ever started to school, Arthur' s mother died, and some one in that city told him that he can go and talk to his mother if he wanted to speak with her, and Arthur decided that he wanted to go and to find out if he really could. So Arthur went to a spiritualist meeting. There he was supposed to have talked to his dead mother and to have heard a voice that mimicked hers. It was really fallen angels or demons pretending to be his mother. But then something bad happened.
When Arthur left the Spiritualist meeting, it seems that a gang of fallen angels or demons went home with him, and they all ganged up in his bathroom. Arthur called for his wife to come. Arthur asked his wife if she saw the members of this gang, and she could not see them, only he could see them. Arthur asked his wife if she could see the tall one, or the fat one, but she could see none of them. Arthur said that they all worked their mouths but that, he could hear none of them speaking. Arthur could find no remedy for this, so he could no longer stand this, so he put a gun into his mouth and killed himself. At that time I did not understand this, but later on I did. Satan seeks ways to turn us aside from our faith in God. Jesus came on earth and died so that he might overcome death, and it is a dangerous thing to play with Satan on his ground. Spiritualism is Satan's ground, and it is not of God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
We do not have to play with the ghosts or evil spirits of the dead, nor do we have to listen to voices that we think may belong to our departed loved ones. That is all that Satan can offer. Jesus has won the victory over death, and one day we shall rise to meet him in the air, never to die again. Jesus will give us a new body and a new immortal life. We have that blessed hope.
Illness Strikes
After my first illness as a baby three months , I was never sick again in my life until one day when I was 17 years old. I felt like I had a bad sore throat, and so I took a bus alone, and I went to the doctor in the city. The doctor said that I had strep throat, and he gave me some antibiotics, and I went home. When I got home, I sat down in a big chair in the living room and I was not feeling well, and I kept on thinking that as soon as I felt better, I would go to my room. But I did not feel better, and I was going to get up and go to my room, anyhow, but I found that I could not go. I was very sick, and I had never had this feeling of helplessness before, and I started to cry. I was never one to show tears, so my mother knew something was really wrong with me, and she helped me to my bed, where she dressed me.
Then my mother called the doctor, and he came, even though he had seen me just hours earlier, and he told my mother just to see that I took the antibiotics, I would be okay. But I did not get okay, and with each day that passed, I got worse. I got to where I was no longer walking, and I was no longer able to eat or drink, and every thing that I tried to eat or drank came up. I was losing weight, and I could no longer stand to look at myself in the mirror. My nose was plugged and I was getting less and less able to swallow, and I had a hard time trying to breathe. The Health Department workers came to the house, looking for some kind of a communicable disease. My whole family was tested and nothing was found. The workers even went to my neighbors house to test them, and still nothing was found.
When things got really bad, my doctor wanted to try to open my nostrils with some sort of a machine, and I did not feel able to get dressed to go, so my mother told me that I could wear a housecoat, and I went, but that did not help. My mother called up my doctor that evening and told him that she wanted to release him, and to get another doctor for me, and my doctor did not want that, but my mother told him that she was sorry, but that was what she was going to do.
Then both of my parents talked things over, and both agreed that I did not have long to live, and my mother wanted to call the people from the Assembly of God church to come to our home and pray for me, and I could barely speak, but I did not want them to come to pray. I had left the Assembly of God church when I was 14 years old, and I had not been back, because I felt that they did not preach the truth on some things like "hell, heaven, and the secret rapture". I had lost all confidence in that church and in the people there, even though many were very good people.
When I was about 14 years old, one day my older sister came home from school, where she had been studying history and the calendars throughout the ages. My sister told me, that in this secular high school, she had learned that Saturday was really the Sabbath Day, and she said that the Jews had always known which day was the Sabbath, and that the days of the week had never been changed. The first question that I had asked my sister was, "Why did our church never tell us?" There is no answer for that.
The Assembly of God church started at a time when revival was sweeping the nation. It was a time much like when my grandparents were converted. At that time the church had no statement of faith or set belief. As time progressed and the church did have real opportunity to see their mistakes, they would rather to try to hide their errors than to confess them. So in the United States, around 1900 churches knew by then, that Sunday was not the Sabbath, so they started saying "Sunday School" or calling Sunday, "the Lords Day". I have found references to this in many old newspapers. My own grandparents had truly believed that Sunday was the Sabbath Day, or the last day of the week.
At the age of 17, I was completely separated from the church that I grew up in, and even at my time of death, I did not want them to pray for me. I felt apart from God, and I felt that he could not possibly care for me, for I had prayed to earnestly that my aunt would live. Maybe God liked other people, and he just did not like me or care about me, so I was ready to give up on life. With my every breath, I would say, "I am gonna quit, I am gonna quit". There was just nothing more that I could even hope for, and I felt that I had done my best. Now I was willing just to go quietly.
So that evening, the people from the Assembly of God church came to pray for me, even against my will, it was my mother's will and not mine, and I had no resistance, no strength was left in me. I was not even able to cry out. I do know that I was anointed with oil that evening. I never saw how many people were there, because I did not open my eyes. To me, it was like I was laying at the bottom of a deep, deep dark valley. I was down at the bottom of this dark valley, and I could hear voices rolling over my head. I could hear my own thoughts, intermingled with the voices, and I would lay there trying to figure out who was doing the speaking. Was it me?
The next day, the new doctor came to see me, and he sat in a chair by my bed and he held my hand, and he did connect to me, and I was aware of his presence. My mother was crying, and I heard her, and my father was asking the doctor if there was anything more that he could do for me. The new doctor told my father that I was going to die anyhow, and he said that even though the germ of diphtheria had not been found on me, it might be worthwhile to try it. My father told the new doctor to go ahead and try it, and see what happens. So this is what the new doctor did that no one else had done; he gave me diphtheria anti toxin.
Within a matter of days, the grey lining began to peel from my throat, and the plugs came from each side of my nostrils. The plugs were hard and grey and they were each about the size of a nickel. Daily more of the lining peeled from my throat, and day by day, I was getting better, and it was clear to see that. The doctor reasoned that the antibiotic was not strong enough to kill the diphtheria, but only strong enough to weaken the germ and extend my illness. The new doctor was a Seventh-Day Adventist, and man of prayer. He did not talk about religion to me, but he did give to me a book named "Desire of the Ages". The book was written by Ellen G. White, and you can find it here to read. http://www.egwtext.whiteestate.org/readbooks.html
This really did help me to understand Jesus more than ever, and this book did endear me to my doctor. My doctor told me that if I had more questions, to call the church worker and she would answer me.
Some time did pass, for it took a long while for me to gain my strength and I was confined to the bed, where I did read and learn to crochet lying on my back. I think that if i had not been confined to bed that I probably would never have been still enough to learn to crochet.
Home at Last
Day by day, after I had changed over to the new doctor, I began to get well, and it was something very noticeable, and the change was fast. Soon, I could breathe again, and life was so much better. I can remember the first day that I was able to stand up and look out my window.
It might have been a month that had passed without me seeing out of my bedroom window, but the day when I looked out of that window was a day that I will never forget. I looked out of that window, and I saw evergreen trees and grass, and it all looked like magic to me. It was though I could see life racing in the trees and the grass, and I wanted to be near to this. Not many days before, I had been ready to give up on life, saying "I am gonna quit", but today, I was really enjoying seeing life, even the life of a tree. This is when I started to want to go to Yosemite National Park, and I dreamed of just laying under one giant Sequoiah there, and I wanted to lay on a quilt under the tree for just a while, and then I was ready to go home. Jesus is the Life Giver, the Creator of all living things, and my thoughts were turned toward Him.
I was reading that book that my new doctor gave to me, and its' name was "Desire of the Ages". I could not but I wish that I had this understanding as a child. I wish I could have understood just how many times Jesus did appear in the Old Testament, and how it so rightly fits together with the New Testament. I could see that I had so much more to learn, and it seemed that I had only scratched the surface with my learning.
I wanted to learn more. My doctor had never talked about religion to me, even though he was a Seventh-Day Adventist, and he only gave me the book, and he told me that if I had more questions, I could call the church bible worker. The church near to me did have a bible worker, so I phoned her, and she did come to my house, and she taught me all of the teachings of the Adventist church, and she answered my questions. Yes, I did have many questions about not only the Bible, but Mrs. White too, and the bible worker was able to answer my every question. Then she invited me to the Seventh-Day Adventist church the next Sabbath Day, and I went alone.
That Sabbath Morning is a morning that I can never forget. I went to church early that day, and I took a seat in that near empty church on the left in the middle, and it was not long before a woman began to play the organ. I had no idea if I would know the Adventist songs or not, for I had never been to an Adventist church before in my life. The very first song that the organist played was "The Old Rugged Cross", the first song that I had ever learned in church, and I was surprised. Then the organist played the second and third songs, both songs that I learned to sing in the church and in the order that I had learned them. Then came the hymns that I had learned to sing with my father while he played the guitar, in the order that I had learned them. I was dumbfounded as I sat there, and my mind was racing to the places where I had learned so many songs. As the organist played on, she also played the hymns that I sang with my two sisters while washing dishes, and that brought back more memories. I hated to wash dishes, but singing hymns seemed to help to remove my unhappiness.
My head was bowed as I sat in the church, and I was thinking through all of the songs that I had learned and the places where I had learned them. When I was 15, I visited a little Baptist church, in the mountains, near my grandparents home, and there, I learned "Trust and Obey", and that song was played by the organist and in it's proper order. In this one half hour sitting in the Adventist church on my very first visit, God had told me that he had known me, every step of my way, all through my life. Who but God could know the songs that I had learned in my lifetime, and in what order? No man could ever tell me that. I thought of my aunt, and how I had prayed for her, and I thought about my lack of faith in him, who does know all things. I felt humbled. And in my heart, I began to say, "I am home, home at last!"
Yes, this is how I felt, "Home at last!" I had already begun to believe that there would probably never be a church for me. What a feeling! I was in a new place, where I had never been before, but I was home at last! With my head still bowed, I could see just how the hand of God had been leading me all along to where I was. I was that little girl, that had found a set of heavy black books that I could not even read, and yet I was craving knowledge, hoping one day to learn the secrets of the Universe. I was the little girl that had been hiding in the bushes in the cemetery, seeking answers about death. I was still that same girl who wanted no one to pray for her, when it was her time to go. Jesus has lead me every step of my way. Jesus was there when I thought I had been abandoned and in that deep dark valley of death. Jesus was there even when I did not see him. No one has ever cared for me so long and so much as he. And also, He does care for you too!
Today, I am able to thank God for all of my troubles and trials, for they are what have brought me closer to Jesus. If I had never had a problem, I would never know that God can solve them. I am not worthy of all of the love that God has shown to me.
The End
Unworthy
Words and music by Ira F. Stanphill
http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis2/unworthy.html
Unworthy am I of the grace that He gave,
Unworthy to hold to His hand;
Amazed that a King would reach down to a slave,
This love I cannot understand.
Chorus
Unworthy, unworthy, a beggar;
In bondage and alone;
But He made me worthy and now by His grace,
His mercy has made me His own.
My sorrow and sickness laid stripes on His back,
My sins caused the blood that was shed;
My faults and my failures have woven a crown
Of thorns, that He wore on His head.
Chorus
Unworthy, unworthy, a beggar;
In bondage and alone;
But He made me worthy and now by His grace,
His mercy has made me His own
Unworthy am I of the glory to come,
Unworthy with angels to sing;
I thrill just to know that He loved me so much,
A pauper, I walk with the King
Chorus
Unworthy, unworthy, a beggar;
In bondage and alone;
But He made me worthy and now by His grace,
His mercy has made me His own.
If you feel that you would like more information on the teachings of the bible, you can go to Amazing Facts:
http://www.amazingfacts.org/items/study_guides.asp
Here is an entire set of books on the bible - best known books:
http://www.egwtext.whiteestate.org/readbooks.html
3 Angels Broadcasting Network with 24 hours TV programs online on English and Spanish:
This is a picture of my dear Father, who taught me to love the hymns of the church, and he taught me to sing as he played the guitar; he loved music, and he played guitar, piano, violin, and trumpet. He played a big part in my life, and added greatly to it, and he was the one who once stood at my bedside, asking the doctor if there was any more that he could do? I did not see my father then, but I did hear him.
This is a picture of Yosemite Valley where I longed to go when I started to get well. I was able to lay under one of the trees in this valley that I love.
My grandparents lived in the mountains, and you can see a mountain on the left and on the right. My grandparents lived in the far background of this picture, and I think you can see a telephone pole there. This is the actual field where all of the daisies were growing and where I was feeling so rich. I have been upon the mountain to the left but not to the one on the right, and it is steeper than it looks.
This is me on the left side, at age of 3, with my sister.
Currently, Sarita^^ (julie_anna78@yahoo.com) is a co-founder of the IRC channel #adventist on DALnet. She is of great help for the visitors from all over the world, and she has encouraged many souls to study and search the Bible. For sure, God still does wonders, and we were witnessing many of them. You are welcome to join us on the channel, for Bible discussions and studying the scriptures. We are there daily.
(by the publisher)